


This Is Not A Fairytale

by skoosiepants



Category: Bandom, Panic At The Disco
Genre: Alternate Reality, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-05-16
Updated: 2007-05-16
Packaged: 2017-10-06 20:27:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/57447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skoosiepants/pseuds/skoosiepants
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"If you kiss me," Brendon says, fluttering his lashes behind his thick-rimmed glasses, "I'll turn into a real boy."</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Is Not A Fairytale

**Author's Note:**

> I'm pretty sure this doesn't make any sense at all. I just wanted to write about a frog.

Because this is a fairytale, Spencer is a prince. He isn't actually a prince - he's really just a normal boy, with parents who love him and sisters who pester him and a best friend named Ryan who's bitchy and sullen and perfect - but there's certain ways these stories are told. So Spencer is a prince of the highest realm, and he's pretty and quiet and reserved and everything a prince should be.

One day, one of his friends gives him a frog.

This frog is not an ordinary frog - according to the frog itself - and it talks and bounces more than hops and says ridiculous things like, "Spencer, Spencer, kiss me," and, "I'm _magical_, okay," and, "Maybe I'm a super cool unicorn in disguise, huh? Ever think of that?" and also," If you sing with me, Ryan Ross, I will sing so sweet."

Ryan sings with him, just to shut the frog up. The frog's a pretty good singer, too, and Ryan decides he wants to start a band with him, because it would be awesome.

Spencer thinks this is stupid, because the frog"_Brendon_, my name's Brendon, or B-dog, or Bden, but, listen, dude, you gotta stop calling me The Frog, okay?"because _Brendon_'s a magical singing frog, and. That actually might make for a pretty cool band. Huh.

*

"If you kiss me," Brendon says, fluttering his lashes behind his thick-rimmed glasses, "I'll turn into a real boy."

Spencer eyes him skeptically. Brendon's tried that shit on other people - Ryan, specifically, and the opposite happened and Ryan turned into something weird and undefined and started wearing lots of makeup "for the _band_" - but Brendon's still just a frog. A crazy, magical frog, that thinks sugar is the greatest thing ever invented, although that might not be a frog-thing.

Spencer doesn't kiss Brendon. It's not because he's afraid. He just likes things the way they are.

*

Not too far - and sometimes not far enough - from Prince Spencer's realm is Chicago. Pete Wentz, a sorcerer of great fame and a rocking bass player, holds court over the little province of Wilmette, a mecca of music, and he happens upon a recording of Ryan and Spencer and Brendon and the guy who gave Spencer Brendon and their little frog-fronted band, and he thinks they're great.

Pete graciously offers them his services so they can travel the entire world and sing and play music and it's pretty much a culmination of all their dreams, except for the guy who gave Spencer Brendon. He isn't too excited about having to leave home.

But they play and they travel and they get bigger and better and then the guy who gave Spencer Brendon _disappears_. He disappears like he wasn't even there in the first place, and Spencer blinks at the hole he left and thinks _this is it_. They can't play without the guy who gave Spencer Brendon.

But Brendon says, "Hold on, wait, look, I'm _magical_," like he reminds Spencer nearly every day, except this time instead of insisting on "just a little kiss, we don't even have to use tongue or anything," he gives Spencer Jon.

Jon is quite possibly the awesomest guy Spencer has ever been in the same room with.

*

Jon wants to know why Spencer won't kiss Brendon, "because he's driving everybody fucking nuts, Spence, so just shut him up with your mouth already."

Jon says he loves Brendon and all, but he can only take so much of a singing, dancing, magically annoying frog. They've even stopped letting him have sugar, but it doesn't seem to help very much.

Spencer flips through his magazine and pretends he's indifferent. "I'm saving myself for marriage," he says without looking up, and then there's silence and Spencer says, "Shit, he's in the room, isn't he?" tightening his fingers on the glossy paper, and he knows he's probably made the biggest mistake ever, but he can't take the words back now.

*

Brendon no longer wants to kiss Spencer. Brendon wants to marry Spencer, and, see, Spencer's a prince, and there's only certain people Spencer's allowed to marry, and he really doesn't want to get married anyway. Not like it matters. Brendon's a _frog_.

But. "If you kiss me," Brendon says, hanging off Spencer's shoulder, "I'll turn into a real boy, and then we can get married and live happily ever after."

Spencer scowls and shrugs him off. "There's no such thing as happily ever after," he says.

Brendon widens his eyes and says, "It's a fairytale, Spencer. There's _always_ a happily ever after," which is where he's horribly, horribly wrong.

Spencer's not sure Brendon even knows what a fairytale is.

*

A fairytale has a beginning, a middle and an end that isn't the end. Nothing ever ends.

They're usually pretty bloody and gruesome, too.

Most importantly, though, fairytales aren't real.

*

Because this isn't a fairytale, Spencer is not a prince. Spencer is pretty and reserved and quiet and has this beautiful smile and he plays the drums for a band that is not fronted by a frog. Brendon's pretty weird, but he's human.

Spencer's also kind of sure Ryan was that odd before Brendon kissed him, and that maybe the stone that'd settled in his stomach at the sight of them lip-locked was a little bit green with jealousy. Maybe. He's not making any grand confessions here.

Jon is still the awesomest guy Spencer has ever known, hands down.

Brendon still asks for kisses and marriage.

He says, "One day we'll settle down and adopt little drummer babies," and, "Christ, you're hot when you smile," and, "Do you think my ass looks fat in these pants?" and, also, "If you kiss me, Spencer Smith, I will love you forever and ever."

Spencer rolls his eyes and darts in for a peck, just to shut him up. Brendon catches his ears, though, and grins against his lips and holds him there until Spencer relaxes.

Brendon whispers, "I'm a real boy, Spencer," mouth to his mouth, "and I will love you forever and ever."


End file.
